wanna go halves on a baby?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
