question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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