yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize