I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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