Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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