Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You ruined the universe
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
