KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
