By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
