Pappa wants mamma naked
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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