Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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