I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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