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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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• (408): View more from California

  every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us

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• (206): View more from Washington

  please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors

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• (516): View more from New York

  Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet

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