Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
