I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
