I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
