Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
