I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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