Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
