Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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