i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
