we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
