let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
