Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
