I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
