If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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