We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
