Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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