he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
