there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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