i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
