She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
