Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
