Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
