brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
