Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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