I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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