Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
