Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
