It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
how drunk are you?
Several
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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