I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
