If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
