oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize