happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How's work?
Spinning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
