I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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