i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
