I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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