Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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