I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
