i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
