Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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