hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
