Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
