You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
