plz talk dirty to me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
