Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This house was built for laser tag.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
