You made me cry and you don't even care
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
