I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize