I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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