so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize