i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize