Porn is love you can see.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
